I define leadership as an invitation to greatness that we extend to others. After I spoke this weekend a woman asked me what books I would suggest for parents who want to invite their children to greatness.

Here are three of my favorites:

Raising Kids for True Greatness by Dr. Tim Kimmel

Nurturing The Leader Within Your Child What Every Parent Needs To Know by Dr. Tim Elmore

Breakthrough Parenting by John Maxwell.

That’s what you should focus on, says Dan Sullivan, founder of Strategic Coach, a premiere coaching organization. Don’t focus on where you wish you were.

Most people focus on where they want to be and become discouraged by the gap between the reality and the desire. To feel legitimately good about your life, focus on where you started and how far you’ve come. Even if you aren’t where you ultimately want to be, you’ll feel good about your progress to date.

Do a friend a favor and recommend a great book to them.

My pal Chris Widener called last week to tell me I ought to read Predictably Irrational by Dan Ariely. He gave me a synopsis of why he loved it and although I’m very picky about what I read, I took his advice and got a copy. I’m already half-way through and loving it.

I don’t read much nonfiction, but when I find something I really like, I pass it on. I sent my friend Larry Winget my copy of Lush Life by Richard Price because I found it a very interesting, quirky crime novel set in NYC. Larry is particular like me so we share good titles when we find them.

Don’t recommend everything you read, but do recommend the really, really good stuff.

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There is too much knowledge for anyone to know everything. One book claims Athanasius Kircher, a German polymath who lived in the 17th century was the “last man to know everything.” I’ve also read others who believe Francis Bacon, who lived at about the same time, was the last person to know everything (that was known at the time).

I’ve amassed a huge library and subscribed to countless magazines in an effort to learn as much as I could. It has, for the most part, benefited me. But like Solomon, the supposed author of Ecclesiastes said, “Of the making of books there is no end.”

So what should we attempt to know in a world so full of ideas?

Recently I’ve arrived at the conclusion that there are three primary categories of learning:

1. What we need to know: that would include information to living a full, healthy and fulfilled life as well as certain aspects specific to one’s career or profession. For instance, if you don’t have basic information about economics and money management, your future security and networth is limited by this lack of knowledge.

2. What we desire to know: this includes areas of fascination and passion. This type of knowledge is specific to the individual. A person passionate about his or her faith would most likely have a desire to grow in knowledge about the theology and practice of that worldview. I enjoy philosophy, but because I am not a philosopher by training or profession, this is information I desire but don’t necessarily need to know.

3. What we’d like to know: this is the pied piper of distraction. There is much I’m interested in knowing but simply don’t have time to learn about. Sometime I’ll buy a magazine because of a particular article. Reading it is fun and usually entertaining if not enlightened. The potential downside is the time away from my categories of “need” and “desire” to know. In economics, we call that an opportunity cost.

He or she who tries to know everything ends up knowing little. While that type of person might be hard to beat in a game of Trivial Pursuit, they’ve mortgaged important learning for trifles.

That is a cover headline of Utne Reader magazine this month. I sometimes read that publication for a decidedly different point of view. I didn’t read the current issue; I just like the headline.

Your boss isn’t your mom or your dad. And while good managers and leaders support and encourage you, don’t expect them to:

1. Work out your issues.

2. Coddle you.

3. Help you find the meaning in your work and life.

4. Mediate interpersonal problems.

5. Think for you.

6. Solve your problems.

All these things are your responsibility,  not your boss’s. And if you’re older than 18, don’t expect your mom or dad to do those things for you either. This is what being an adult is all about.