Why get better? What are the compelling reasons to improve yourself, your life or your business? In this audio blog, I share my perspective on why we should choose to keep improving.

One of the biggest reasons many of us struggle to adopt the methods and mindsets that give us the best chances for success is that we get distracted by all the wonderful opportunities that come our way. In fact, I often think the only thing harder than trying to have everything is trying to do everything — even when everything seems so good.

Discipline, I’ve discovered, isn’t just about rejecting time-wasting activities in favor of the things that matter. More often, and more challenging, it’s the good things that distract us from pursuing the better things. So effective discipline sets our agendas, allowing us to reduce or eliminate some things from our schedules. By saying “no” even to things we enjoy or that provide some benefit, we can say “yes” to things that provide a greater return on our investments.

For instance, consider Frank Bures. In 2010, Frank decided to stay “offline” for one full workday each week. No Internet, thus no surfing of his favorite sites for work or for pleasure; no email; no YouTube, no Twitter, no LinkedIn, and no Facebook.

The first day of his tech-fast was surreal. “It was like finding myself on the moon, staring back at earth,” he wrote in an April 2011 article for The Rotarian magazine. By the end of the day, however, “I felt something that I hadn’t in a long time: a sense of accomplishment,” he wrote. “And when I finally logged on to see what I had missed, I was surprised by the answer: not much.”

Discipline allows us to develop the things we value most; it drives all the processes that create results that set us up for success regardless of the circumstances around us. Are you maximizing the disciplines in your life?

This blog is based on content in my latest book, Up, Down, Or Sideways. It is available wherever you buy great books. Click here to learn more about the book or click here to learn about my other speaking services and learning resources.

An explosion on April 5, 2010, resulted in the deaths of 29 coal miners at a West Virginia mine, making it the deadliest U.S. coal accident since 1970. An independent report released about a year later blamed the mine’s owner (Massey Energy Co.) for operating “in a profoundly reckless manner” and state and federal regulators for failing to enforce safety laws.

Among the many lessons we might learn from the tragedy is the importance of building — correctly building — reserves that will give us the best chance of success regardless of whether times are Up, Down, or Sideways.

There are four main areas in which we all need reserves — financial, physical, psychological, and spiritual. We all need to save money for a rainy day. We all need to take care of our bodies. We all need to strengthen our minds. We all need to invest in eternity.

But here’s the thing: Our drive to build reserves can’t come at the expense of other people. Nowhere is this clearer than in the case of the coal mine explosion. You see, building financial reserves isn’t just about fattening your personal or corporate savings account. It’s also about investing in things like the highest standards for safety for your employees. Or, on a personal level, it can be about investing in others by regularly giving your time, talents, and money.

Another quick example: A man walked into a nonprofit agency that, among other things, operates a food pantry for people in temporary financial distress. He was retired and living on a fixed income, and he needed help, he said, because of an unexpected increase in the costs of his medications. All that was true, but the agency denied his request. Why? Because they discovered he had a savings account worth $200,000. His unwillingness to spend his own reserves — on himself, much less on others — would have damaged the agency’s ability to help others with legitimate needs.

There are payoffs from building reserves the right way, and there are dangers in failing to build them or in building them with impure motives. Commit to building your financial, physical, psychological, and spiritual reserves in ways that prepare you for good times or bad — and in ways that contribute to the greater good of those around you.

This blog is based on content in my latest book, Up, Down, Or Sideways. It is available wherever you buy great books. Click here to learn more about the book

Ever dance the tango?

For novices, it can intimidate with its seemingly complicated precision and timing that moves a couple in a graceful but formal and crisp flow around a dance floor. It only takes one lesson, however, to learn the basic steps. It takes lots of practice to become great at the tango, but only 30 or so minutes to learn enough to survive it.

Two things I know about how to make the tango look good: One, the male lead must provide a strong upper-body frame, especially with his right arm. Two, the couple takes the basic steps belly-to-belly.

If we want to succeed regardless of the external circumstances around us, we can learn a few things from the tango, because the tango is all about a creating a relationship — a connection — that achieves its objective (grace, style, pizzazz, all within a prescribed structure).

It starts with support, a strong frame. In other words, how are you supporting the people who are important to you (friends, family, co-workers, customers, et al)? Do you give them something they can hold tightly and with confidence? Do you lead with authority and confidence? Do you move them without aggressive force or pressure?

Next, it requires closeness. You might not want to be belly-to-belly with everyone in your life, but you want to create trust and appropriate levels of transparency. You want to be approachable, even in more formal relationships. You want to connect in non-physical ways.

Creating and caring for the connections in your life prepares you for success regardless of the circumstances that come your way. I cover more of the basics for doing that in Up, Down, or Sideways, because I’ve learned that the basic steps become the foundation for a truly remarkable dance.

Do you know anybody who could benefit from “dance lessons” when it comes to making and  keeping connections? How well do the people on your team do with customers and vendors? With each other? And do you have any room for improvement?

This blog is based on content in my latest book, Up, Down, Or Sideways. It is available wherever you buy great books. Click here to learn more about the book or click here to order it from Amazon.com.

A friend read a story in the newspaper about how the long-struggling housing market was showing signs of a recovery. For my friend, however, that news brought only frustration.

“It’s not recovering,” he said, “until my house sells.”

My friend had gone through a divorce he didn’t want and ended up with a home he no longer lived in, didn’t need, and couldn’t sell. So when you asked him how he viewed the housing market, he saw it through the lens of the You Economy.

Like my friend, most of us are far more interested in our personal economy — the You Economy — than the economy at large. The economy is impersonal. Your economy is personal. As I explore in my new book, Up, Down, or Sideways, both economies impact our chances for success.

The You Economy and the world’s economy aren’t always in sync. You can be Up when the world is Down, or Down when the world is Up. And like the world’s economy, the You Economy isn’t always predictable. However, it is marked by at least three things that we all should understand:

Dumb Luck — the times when you do the wrong thing and it still works out.

Informed Misfortune — the times when you do everything correctly and things still fail.

Sustainable Success — the results you get by consistently adopting the right mindsets and practicing the methods that are important, regardless of whether times are Up, Down, or Sideways.

The lesson: Don’t grow frustrated in times of Informed Misfortune, don’t feel empowered during times of Dumb Luck, and never take for granted the things that give you the best chance at Sustainable Success.

This blog is based on content in my latest book, Up, Down, Or Sideways. It is available wherever you buy great books. Click here to learn more about the book or click here to order it from Amazon.com.

I have a great appreciation for professional baseball players, especially the ones who perform consistently over time at the highest level of competition.

Albert Pujols, for instance, hit .313 or better in each of his first 10 seasons with the St. Louis Cardinals, with at least 32 home runs and nofewer than 103 RBI. And only twice did he play fewer than 154 regular-season games. He might not play for my Rockies, but it’s hard not to admire his consistency and his dedication to excellence.

Like all batters, however, Pujols goes through occasional slumps. In fact, he got off to a horrendous start in 2011. In the 29th game of the season, Pujols went 0-for-5, and his batting average was a very un-Albert-like .252. Do you think Tony La Russa, the Cardinals manager, was concerned?

“He’ll be fine because he’s smart and tough-minded,” La Russa told reporters. “He won’t allow himself to be less than his best.”

La Russa knew Pujols had what it takes to deal with grueling nature of a 162-game season. He can’t avoid slumps, but he knows how to get through them. In other words, there are things Pujols does regardless of whether times are good, bad, or in-between — and those are the things that make him great.

My new book — Up, Down, or Sideways — explores the methods and mindsets that lead to that type of consistent success. Like Pujols, we can’t avoid life’s slumps. But there are things that help us mitigate the downturns, maximize the upturns, and create predictable and persistent success regardless of circumstances.

So much of life is outside our control. Pujols, for instance, can’t control the weather; sometimes he has to play when it’s raining or cold. He can’t control the umpires; sometimes they call a pitch a strike when he thinks it was a ball. And he can’t control whether a pitcher walks him on purpose or throws an inside curveball or a fastball right over the plate.

Likewise, we can’t control things like the economy or the moods swings of our boss or the strategic planning decisions of our customers and clients. But there are methods and mindsets we can embrace regardless of anything the out-of-our-control world throws our way.

I was inspired to tackle this book project during one of the most challenging periods in my life. The economy was in a deep recession, meaning, through no fault of my own, my business and my personal investments were suffering. And that same year, I was diagnosed with prostate cancer. Yet I felt incredibly blessed. I knew things could have been worse — much worse. I wondered: What methods and mindsets had I practiced when times were Up or Sideways that were paying dividends now that times were Down? What should I do or keep doing now that times were Down? And what did other successful people do consistently that I could learn from?

Like a professional baseball season, our personal and professional success is measured over the long course of time. There will be slumps. But they don’t have to define us. We’re defined by how we think and act consistently, because those are the things that shape our results. If you read Up, Down, or Sideways, I think you’ll relate to the things I’ve identified. I’m going to blog about some of them over the next few months. And I hope you’ll add to the discussion with your own methods and mindsets that have served you when times were Up, Down, or Sideways.

This blog is based on content in my latest book, Up, Down, Or Sideways. It is available wherever you buy great books. Click here to learn more about the book or click here to order it from Amazon.com.

I met Nick Arnette many years ago when I first moved to Denver. Nick is a professional comedian and speaker (and now lives in  Los Angeles). One of the things I like about Nick is that he works clean (no off-color humor) and if you know much about stand up comedy, you know how challenging that can be. He has a new book out called Me, We and Glee: how to have a great attitude, work as a team, and keep your sense of humor. This is an excerpt I think you’ll enjoy:

What’s bugging you? Who’s getting on your nerves? Too much to do, too little time? Your stressful commute to work? All the bad drivers on the road?

I live in Los Angeles, where traffic is so bad it would probably be more efficient to put my car in neutral and let the earth rotate than actually try to “drive” on the freeways.

Here’s a chance to let out a little frustration. Draw a circle on a piece of paper. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to put one dot inside the circle for everything that’s bugging you. Take your time; really think about it. Only you know what the dots represent, so have some fun with it!

How did that feel? Good, I hope. Now, take a close look at the circle. What else is inside the circle besides the dots? It’s not a trick question. If your answer is “space,” then you’re a winner! If there’s a lot more space than dots, then you’re a double winner!! Actually, I’ve not yet met the person who has more dots than space.

If the dots represent what’s bugging you, then the space represents what’s not bugging you. It’s all in the way we look at it. Yeah, I know, it’s pretty basic, but most things in life are pretty basic.

Most people fail when they forget to use the “basics.” Think about it: In golf, one of the fundamentals is to keep your head down. Still, even though I know that, I have a tendency to look up to see where the ball is going before I even hit it. The result is a bad shot and sometimes a lost golf ball. Keeping your eye on the ball is a must in every sport that has a ball in it. Still, from dropped passes to missed catches, many sports errors are made because we forget the basics. If you’re in sales, maybe you didn’t close the deal because you didn’t ask for it. Or maybe you were talking so much that the client never had an opportunity to gather the information he or she needed. Again, it’s the basics; we cannot stray from them if we want to succeed in our endeavors. The same goes for our daily lives. Many of us have read about ways to reduce stress, to keep from getting angry, to manage our time better, etc. We may even have attended a seminar or two about it. Yet, when we blow it, it’s because we forgot the basics.

Our biggest blunders usually occur “in the moment.” Most of the time we do just fine. But let’s add a little pressure to a situation. Someone says something offensive, or some- one you were counting on doesn’t come through, or someone repeats that annoying habit for the hundredth time—and we lose it. We might end up saying or doing something that we quickly regret, and we can’t take it back. The damage is done.

One of my biggest annoyances is people who talk loudly on their cell phones in public. After one particularly tough gig, I boarded my flight home. Before we took off, the guy next to me was talking so loudly on his cell phone that I couldn’t even hear the music I was listening to on my iPod. I couldn’t wait for the plane to take off so he’d have to turn his phone off. When that time came, I turned to him and said, “Dude, way too loud on your cell phone.” It was surreal. Was it me talking to him like that? I call myself “The Feel- Good Funny Guy,” but in that moment, I was “The Make- You-Feel-Bad Knucklehead”! I offered my apologies for my errant comment, but the damage was already done.

He was crushed. He apologized and told me he hated his job, his phone was not working properly, and he was having a really bad day. I certainly did nothing to make it better. I acted like a jerk, and I knew it—and so did everyone else sitting near me on the plane.

I can honestly say I’ve never said anything brilliant when I was angry, nor have I done anything praiseworthy in a moment of anger. Have you?

Our prisons are full of people who have failed in the moment—people who have committed crimes of passion. They are average people who allowed their emotions get the best of them and did something that was out of character for them. They literally ruined their lives and possibly those of others because they failed in the moment. Fortunately, you can’t go to prison for telling someone he was talking too loudly on his cell phone!

When someone or something upsets you, ask yourself these three questions:

1. What part of this can I do nothing about?

Like it or not, some things are completely out of your control. You can’t control the weather, you can’t stop time, and you can’t control other people’s attitudes and actions.

2. What part of this can I do something about?

You can control—and are responsible for—your own attitudes and actions. How sad that many people have wrecked their careers or even their lives in an instance of uncontrolled anger. Again, they failed to remember the basics. They knew the proper way to handle their situation; they just didn’t do it.

3. How can I keep these thoughts going and get myself even more upset?

This sounds crazy, but it may be a good idea to think of all the ways you shouldn’t react in a given situation, even though you might “feel” like it.

For example, someone cuts you off in traffic. You might “feel” like responding by honking your horn incessantly and giving them the one-finger salute! You might even want to get ahead of the guy and cut him off, too, followed by driving well under the speed limit, just to make him angry and punish him some more.

What good can come out of this situation? Nothing. Two people are now angry, and more potential for mayhem exists. Even worse, have you ever honked at some- one in traffic and they end up going to the same place you’re going? How awkward is that?

Once you go through all the scenarios of what you shouldn’t do (even though you might like to), you have a really good idea of how not to react to the particular circumstances.

Put those three questions into practice, and you’ll be good in any “moment”!

What will you do differently today?

Will you replicate yesterday (not such a bad thing if you had a good day before) or will you do something differently?

To do the same things the same way every day time suggests two things:

First, it suggests we’re so good at what we do there is no way we could get better. You and I both know that isn’t true. No matter how good anyone becomes, there is always room for improvement. Nobody has to improve, but the opportunity to pursue improvement is one of life’s greatest adventures.

Secondly, it suggests we simply don’t want to change or get better. I accept that not everyone wants to improve in every or even any area of his or her life. That is a personal choice. But the happiest people I know are always looking for ways to improve their lot in life and to help others get more out of life as well.

Any program of improvement or change begins with the same simple question: what will you do differently today?

WWYDDT?

The Journal of PLoS Computational Biology finds that obesity is contagious among friends. In short, says the study, the more obese people you have contact with, the more obese you are likely to become.

Researchers admit they’re not sure why that is.

Wouldn’t it make sense that we are partly a function of our environment, and that what our friends do influences what we do?

If that is true, consider what else might be contagious:

Success. Napoleon Hill famously recommended being part of a mastermind alliance of like-minded people committed to success.

Character. As the old saw goes, when you lie down with dogs you get fleas. Maybe if you hang out with angels you’ll get a halo.

Energy. What is the energy in your workplace like? I’ve found I can catch energy from my colleagues and, when I speak, my audiences (and vice versa).

Are you contagious? What are others catching from you…and you from them?

You might think there are two people less alike than Bret Michaels and Tony Dungy.

Michaels is a long time rocker. Dungy is a former NFL coach.  One is flamboyant and the other unassuming. Michaels starred in the reality show called Rock of Love. Dungy is overt that his life is built on the rock of faith.

What do they have in common?

They’ve both demonstrated there are different paths to extraordinary success; that you can break the supposed mold and win big.

Michaels was named the winner of Celebrity Apprentice on last night’s final episode. He beat worthy opponent Holly Robinson Peete. Peete was the confident, accomplished business woman/actress who might reasonably have been considered the favorite to win. Michaels was the creative rocker who liked to sleep in but he proved to be more than a musical celebrity. His leadership abilities coupled with his creativity, sense of humor and big heart helped him capture the title.

I’m sure there are naysayers who thought he had, ironically, an unfair advantage from his recent life-threatening illness. I choose to believe that difficult circumstances just revealed what a true warrior he really is. 

I interviewed Tony Dungy recently and his route to fame and success is as unusual as Bret Michaels’. In an environment where big egos, yelling and hysterics on the sideline are not uncommon, Dungy is a soft-spoken and humble man. He was an accomplished player and a savvy coach, but his demeanor is radically different from a typical star athlete or Super Bowl-winning coach. He seems less driven than dedicated, and his is a quiet ambition that focuses more on others than on himself.

Both Dungy and Michaels defy the myth of the singular path to success. They defy the popular formulas. They both prove that personality and passion express themselves differently in different people and that Frank Sinatra was on to something when he sang about doing it ”my way.”

And they demonstrate that who culture considers an underdog might in reality be an alpha dog.